Monday, October 31, 2005

Appropriately Inappropriate

We have all had inappropriate moments.

Someone says a unfair generalization despite being ignorant of others around. The "joke" or comment is made and despite some laughter a fog of unease remains. Perhaps the "other" person heard. Perhaps someone is sensitive to such generalizations despite the "other" person's involvement...

But what makes a moment inappropriate? Is it the message or the listener?

For instance, is it inappropriate to watch Chappelle's show around a baby? They don't know what's going on TV and most of the ideas contained within will never register in their brain... but still, should such a infant be exposed to a show that lampoons negative images at all until they can totally discern humor and satire from objective opinion?

Can I make a joke about Rosa Parks? 9/11? The War on Terror? Muhammad Ali?

Can I even talk about negative aspects of painful experiences while they still hurt people who are close?

When does the healing process take precedence over social interaction?

Is humor's curing principles enough to cut past the pain (ie - Three Kings or Hogan's Heroes) or does a serious reverence for the hurting make more sense (Jarhead or Black Hawk Down)?

Can it be both? None?

Recently, I was forced to watch a movie with a friend. A friend I once dated but never perused further. The movie was a good one and hit the topics of people choosing how and who they love. The motives behind were exposed and how it effects people were displayed. It's a really fresh and honestly good movie. (No, I'm not gonna tell which one.)

Still, I felt like the movie provided a situation that was almost... innapropriate. It was inappropriate for her and I to share that experience. Because it dealt with a situation where I couldn't be involved with her because of my own issues despite some physical interaction and then I ended up putting her in the friend zone. Despite one brief talk about it, there has always been this unresolved feeling left to our relationship. Despite this, we are remarkably good friends and we hang all the time without a need to "talk".

Still, at the end of the movie because of the subject matter, I was uncomfortable. It had cut right to the bone. It had exposed me for not only the person I am (good and bad) but probably how I had been slightly more inconsiderate of her feelings than I should have. She has been sensitive to our situation and has tried to discuss it a couple times. She wants a resolution but such a thing to most people is simply the conclusion that makes us feel best. If my suspicions are correct... her resolve most likely, will never come. During the movie I waited for signs of her getting mad or uncomfortable, except for the fact that she never did... she didn't have a clue.

As we talked about the merits of the movie, I wondered if she would evernotice the blatant truth within it. If she would connect the irony of us watching the movie together. I wondered if this would lead to a bigger discussion about how we are. Maybe it would lead to us being even better friends... or maybe some of the inconsistencies in the movie would lead us to making sweeping negative conclusions about each other.

All this lead me to wonder: Is it me making this situation bad? Is it inappropriate to take certain friends to an experiences like this? Were we not ready for this movie or was this movie just what we needed?

Friday, October 28, 2005

Planet Home

I love living in a pedestrian metropolis. Let me rephrase, I love living in a city where people use mass transit.

I grew up in LA and if you have seen Crash, it's true, people are always driving and spend a great deal of time in their car. They also spend a lot of time talking about the biz and living the oh so glam LA life... but that's a different post.

Living in DC, the Bizarro LA, is amazing because it's such a bustling lively place.. in such a small area... kind of like a mini NYC in many ways. Everything is at your fingertips. You can eat at amazing innovative restaurants. You'll meet interesting diverse international people. You'll experience museum exhibits of all kinds of cultural jewels that can transport you anywhere... from examining exotic flora in lush locations around to the world all the way into the mind of the homeless and hopeless of skid row. You have it all.

Which is why I never understood the allure of suburban life.

True enough, here in DC there are not many attached car garages for even the larger homes (which sucks) and some people raise families in houses without lawns or a decent backyard (which is lunacy for me. Or even worse... condos! Condo + Kids = Yikes.) But I grew up in the suburb city of LA (and went to school in the ATL) and I refuse to live as a boring burbite. Even in DC you can stay in the city and get the space you need. Yes you pay more... but isn't that what people work hard for... quality of life?

Life in burbs is a serene one, no doubt.. but but it is also very nutralist, ie bland. And now that affordability of such a lifestyle is now catching up with city life it starts to even less reflect the Walmart-ish lifestyle that it once presented. The gas prices are soaring so that hour and a half in traffic that brought you from your sleep at 5 so you could make it to work at 9 now works against you. Heating that giant behemoth of a suburban dream house for your family has shot up almost 100% in the last 4 years. The fact that when friends come into town.. NO ONE wants to see how life is out in Bethesda.. (45 mins out) or Germantown (hour and a half out). People want to see DC and the liveliness of city. There are spots in the city that are just as safe as the burbs. And quite frankly, after eating at a small restaurant opened by a Thai immigrant who has brought the culture and poured the love for his homeland into a bowl of opportunity and lemongrass soup is amazing your local Applebees will never tastes the same (and often it'll be cheaper too!). It will sustain you but not fill you. Sorry, William J. Friday.

The greatest part about this life is that you are reminded of the greatness of the city daily. And each day as I leave my craaaaaaaamped apt here in the District, I slide in iPoddy Pablo's earbuds and pump up the volume high enough to pretend to ignore the pleas of the panhandlers and low enough so I can make sure I'll hear anyone sneak up on me and jack Pablo. Fumbling out of my apartment building, into the the cool sunrise and towards the Metro, I revel in the fact that my city is a beautiful exciting living entity, constantly growing... contantly changing. Indeed, it isn't New York or even LA but what it is is essentially a simple extension of my very typically Districtesque apartment... cozy, crazy, but home.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Hope Springs Eternal...

I realize I need to keep my posts short. I am not cut out for the social blogging like my other friends... so from here on out.. I am working to avoid burnout by blogging in a morestaccato style. If a post takes me more than 30 mins... I'm trashing it.

The Powerball jackpot is 340 million bucks. I hate the fact that people lose their ever loving minds when these jackpots come out. Still, I understand.

Right now, ALL of the numbers available have been taken. ALL OF THE FREAKIN numbers. That's totally insane. Still, you may play the random draw if you wish to play. I think that says something about the state of the Union. In the few states that play the Powerball (thankfully the District of Columbia also participates) the people are so desperate for a lucky winfall of money, despite the odds, that they have played ALL the freakin numbers. The people of this country are not in good shape.. yet as Americans often are... we are brimming with hope.

So tonight, after the gym.. there I'll be. Playing right along wth them. Like Rose Royce, I'll be wishing on a star and investing in my dreams. I'll maintaining the optimistic ideas that grand luck will shine brightly upon me. I understand there are people who need it much more than I. Still, I think I am worthy for insta-wealth due to my giving nature and interest in improving the human condition.

My hope and faith in luck and myself is eternal, so like always I play the odds. Knowing that my loss at least helps the District and at most will ensure personal wealth (and those of my loved ones) and a greater social ambition... I'll play tonight.


Of course, if I win.. no one will ever know.


Even though I'll post it right here. lol