Not A MJ Post!

Since everyone was talking Michael... I thought I would write up this little non-Michael post... and then not post it till this disclaimer was irrelevant. Ha. The joke's on me!

"The sins of the father visit upon the children."

This statement has never been more apparent to me.

Usually, I use this statement in my debates to shut up anti-Affirmative Action folk. Somehow this works even with people who think that racism doesn't exist or affect people.

Lately, I have been seeing that the vices (because I like that better than "sins") of certain people manifest themselves through the individual actions and when you get to a certain age.. these vices (e.g. laziness, addictive personalities, jealousy, bitterness...) plague their lives like a bad case o' herpes. You can't shake it... you just hope to contain it...

As I saw a mother instructing her lil son to pee on the building behind mine.. in the alley... this started to really affect me. What is she teaching that kid? Isn't there another way?

Interesting to me these days people seem to more and more believe that behavior is not learned but somehow hardwired in. It's not. Your zodiac sign.. that stuff is garbage. This may be hard to accept... but you just need to trust me. GARBAGE.

We learn things through our parents and other outside influences. This is so true that often our half ass attempts to be original are us rehashing efforts we have heard people that we respect do. And yes sometimes this won't come from your parents.. it'll come from your own experiences and the manner which you have these experiences... but inevitably you are put in a position to have these experiences by your guardians.. whoever that may be.

I have a friend whose cousins are fairly wild. The mother moans and wails about how they don’t do what they need to do. The older cousin is 13 and she JUST decided she didn't want a tattoo on her neck. Why? She doesn't know. I had to sit her down and let her know that unless she was going to be an entertainer... visible tats like she wanted will only hinder her career progress. Of course, this led to the basic talk about how people, including herself judge others on their looks. It aint fair.. but that's life. She didn't know any better and her love for tats was started by her mother's fav tat on her ankle. She always rebels against her mother... and yet here she was trying to be just like her.

It's time parents owned up to a new level of responsibility. Once you have kids... your life isn't OVER.. but your independence is. Your kids are more important. It doesn't matter if you are 14 or 34. It doesn't matter if HE doesn't want to be involved... or if she decides to "check out". Some one has to step up for the kid. The more you sacrifice the more you will be given. And while the results will not be immediate... they will come and they are worth it. You simply must have faith in yourself and your child. Sadly, this does mean it cannot be all about you anymore. Your needs are secondary and that does mean not bringing your badass baby to the 9:30 showing of Mr. & Mrs. Smith!! Jerks.

It's 2005 and we've come so far... but we must go further. Sometimes we don't plan to be parents and parenthood is thrust onto us by a moment of bad judgment or the roll of the dice just takes an unexpected hop. It is in this moment where we are given the power to change the world. Even in the hardest ghetto and the darkest of times, we can give our child our soul or do like the DMV and send the down the line. But they need us...

And as we grow older we must accept that now the challenges are changing. The threats to the children are online and in person. There are no short cuts to parenting. As the times change parental have to adapt too. We (and I have included myself and other childless people because we have to step up too sometimes) have to understand the times but also realize that the old stand-bys of love and attention will go a lot further than a Net Nanny and the V-Chip.

I am slightly concerned because with the Babymommas and the Grandmothers raising their grandkids the kids may not get the necessary guidance from their parents. They need the encouragement, the "NO"s when they ask for something dangerous, the love when they need a shelter from the world, and the sense that their parents would do anything for them.

It's time to do better, ya'll... and if you know you can't... please, please, please use protection.

Delusions of Glamour

The internet is like a funhouse mirror.

It lies to people. People who want fame can be famous. Kids who want to be adults can be adults, men who want to be women can be... well... you know.

The internet is a fake world of hidden agendas where personality quirks and traits become whole identities. Ironically, people often don't understand how the real and the virtual worlds often collide with fantasically disastrous results.

One of the worse disasters I have come into contact with are the internet models.

Much like anyone with a dream that may be unattainable, many of these women are pretty, maybe witty, and have a dream that their physical blessings will lead them to a career of looking pretty for money. With great hopes they put up websites dedicated to making them at least the next Vida Guerra.

Now, I know that some will be able to do Chingy's next music video and possibly even get a chance to walk at their local Sears fashion show. But the money in that... while decent for the work done, it's short money. This kind of change is honestly not worth the effort of getting photos, putting the effort into learning the walks, consistently getting shot down and (really) putting your faith and hope into modeling overall.

Modeling is a tough biz. I have had a couple friends wisely leave or get burnt out and they were legit models who were actually talented. They hit the sick height and weight requirements necessary to do the job... they had the smile... the look... the walk... and the time and confidence to spare. They had all they needed and made it a short career because they decided it wasn't THAT much fun, as most people with reasonably normal sized egos do. The shallowness, the petty people, the inconsistent work, and the strength to be judged and to look past others not looking past your flaws takes a toll. But even more than that... the industry doesn't have much longevity and I am unaware of any retirement plans. Finally they settled into careers which have, ultimately, more possibilities for the future with fond memories of a fun time in modeling.

These internet women usually don't quite fit the model fold whether they are too short, too large or simply not pretty. What makes this tragic, to me, is that I love people with big dreams of something grander than just being rich or famous. The willingness to work for success is beautiful. But these model dreams (and most acting ones too.. but that is a different subject) are based on the idea that it will be fun to be idolized and it's not much work... which... compared to REAL work.. it's not.

In the end, the internet will connect these "models" with shady photographers, crooked "agents", and other unscrupulous people. They also may mix with general 3rd tier photographers and agents that could give these women a possible lackluster career in modeling. Now, I wouldn't discourage even THIS if the women (and, lets be honest, some men) had careers on the side, which can be done. But this often isn't so. WAY too often years are left in the wake of unattainable dreams... or better put.... delusions of glamour. Therein the tragedy lies.

If time is the one resource that you can never get back... the one thing you cannot fix (ask Michael Jackson... he's still trying to find his "Childhood"). As a former actor now living far away from my childhood home of LA, I have seen the ravages of time on unprepared. From homeless, or the deflated folks trying to hold on to even slivers of past success it is NOT a pretty picture. All I hope is that these people have people around them that will assist them in insuring that a future dream doesn't become a nasty nightmare of reality.

I'm trying to shorten up these posts, btw.. but damn if I can stop myself from my usual blabbering. I apologize. Really, I do.