A House Is Not A Home

I have had quite the blogging hiatus. I needed time to gather my thoughts and get back on path...


But this not so shocking Luther passing has touched a spot. It's time to come out and speak on the dangers of eating disorders.

No, not the disorders you see in Hollywood. If you are just following along... that's really code word for "drugs". Don't be fooled.

No I am talking about one of the biggest political and social issues of the year.. and one that could be.

Meet Terry Shiavo. You just might have heard her name before. In case you haven't... she was a anorexic young lady who starved herself until her brain could not function on the few red blood cell that were carrying oxygen to her brain. In affect, she drowned herself, entered a permanent vegetative state in which her brain dead self only retained the most basic of responses and an unnecessary political firestorm was raised when she was to be taken off of her feeding tube. Very sad case, and ultimately preventable.

Luther, was like many stars and many gay males (lets not pretend NOW) very concerned with his physical upkeep... it went to the point it became obsessive. He battled with his weight constantly and publicly to the point that he was mocked for it. Yet, in fact, it was not a joke.. it was a serious matter and finally when he had his stroke it was the climax to a long struggle with his self perception. His body could take no more.

What makes these cases sad is that both were beautiful people with family and friends who adored them. In Luther's case he had fans who didn't care if he looked like Ruben Studdard or DJ Squalls as long as he would smoothly tell our girls how we felt about them... so that we didn't have to say a word.

On the other hand, Shiavo was a very pretty woman with a husband and a family that would obviously do anything to keep her around. When people look at her old pictures it's odd to see the youthful face that many don't recognize. We really only knew the brain dead Terry from the videos on TV.

In the end... it wasn't enough. People have to find the love from within and realize that searching for approval. We are all flawed as humans, and even the most beautiful often have serious doubts about their looks. But in the end the looks always fade over time and what we are left with is ourselves. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. With a very judgmental world out there... you have to be your own sanctuary... and love yourself as God created you.

I only hope that these two deaths can serve as a wake up call. If you notice your friends having odd eating disorder behavior or make suspicious comments... take it seriously. It is SO easy to overlook and shrug it off. Trust me... I've been there and when you open up the secret often times the other person will joke and kid to make it seem very small. It's not small. You NEVER know... you really just never know... when the joke turns ugly and the hidden truth comes out... sometimes even a joke can turn deadly.

Rest In Peace, Luther...