Sharing is Caring

So, I was in New.. I'm sorry.. N'awlins last week.

I was hanging out with some friends by the pool soakin' up the Bayou rays and ran into this guy hanging around my homegirl looking rather... shall I say, nervous?

He seemed to be a normal guy and I soon learned was friend my homegirl. So after doing the mandatory black male nod and handshake I went to a nearby cabana to chill with some friends and some tasty oh-so-tasty calimari. Upon sitting down I was quietly informed that the guy was her "lil' friend". THE "lil' (more than a friend) friend"? OH yes, the very engaged and soon to be married by early next year lil' (more than a friend) friend.

Did I mention he was engaged?

He's engaged.

Apparently, while abroad in an immersion program he professed his love for her... and said he couldn't go through with his marriage. That was several months ago. Now.... here they are in New Orleans together and acting all huggy and stuff and guess who is still getting married?

Later on she got mad at him... because he was mad at her... for coming to New Orleans (mainly for him.. but her friend has a friend in a wedding or some other bull) and not getting her own room. She was also mad he couldn't hang with her a lot but.. uh.. she musta forgot she was girl #2. Not the one.

Why do people do this to themselves?

By the end of the trip some of her girls gave her THE talk. The "you can do better" talk. She was sulked and BSed about why it wasn't that bad... but she got the picture eventually. She was never going to be THE main girl. She had shown to be content with being left on the bench... why would he let her in the game?

I hope my friend is finally understanding that some guys are simply full of themselves and their own needs, but she really should have known. It saddens me because... for someone almost in their mid thirties she is a lil old for these games. He, on the other hand, was in his mid-twenties and running that game on girls who he knows will bite.

For the life of me, I'll never understand. With all the media attention and general knowledge about these things... they are no longer secret.

IF he/she is engaged or married and tries to talk to you.. it doesn't matter why.. people we have need to leave it alone.

-Yes, they will bad talk their significant other.. but that just shows you their lack of loyalty.
-Yes, they will say that things are going to end soon or even have a deadline or plan to leave... but that is usually just talk. Never acted up on. As long as they are with them.. they are with them because they want to.
-Yes, they will overall talk a good game.. but that is why someone else loves them. And it may seem like all fun and games.. but imagine being on the other side.

I think the scary part about this is that it really made me think about how susceptible we are all to people like this. It may not seem so now but, really, all it takes is the right person to push the right buttons at the right time.